The Ballad of Captain Flavor Savor

by Return of Simple

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    Thanks for listening! This was written for a short film by Kat Lenhart. It's funny. You can watch the full 6-minute movie here:

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Now that laminated name tag is buried in trash,
And replaced by a past-on custom mustache.

Did you always know that a TV show was the home to set you free?

All those times you tried and you failed and cried brought you to your destiny.

Captain Flavor, Flavor Savor
Is your smile a little brighter in the morning?
Captain Flavor, you have done us all a favor
By portraying what a man can do
With fake whiskers and Elmer’s glue.
Our captain is here.

And your girlfriend, Carol, can cry on cue.
Why would she cry at all when she has you?

You can make a round plump tomato sound like the greatest of the fruits.
And when Sarah’s dead, we can feel your dread, ‘cause your stash portrays it too.

Captain Flavor, Flavor Savor

Do you notice how the sun shines down upon you?

Captain Flavor, you’re our mentor and our savior
From the perils of reality
When shown to us on Channel 3.
We’re thankful you’re here.


released April 25, 2010



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